The Ikea Maze and the Flatpack Monster

Some careful readers among you may have noticed that I have failed miserably in a project I set myself, and then foolishly advertised the fact to the world on this blog. You are probably – no, let that be possibly – waiting anxiously on your porch in America, your veranda in India, on your beach in Australia or Brazil, wondering what has happened to the Kindle book I was preparing, for publication after Christmas.

At the time, I thought it would be an exciting challenge I could set for myself, to take my book, “Joining the Dots”, and turn it into an e-book all by myself. It would be a story worth telling – “Blind Man Does Something Previously Thought Impossible! That sort of thing.

You have waited and waited for further news of the project. I know . . .

I have decided, at last, to come clean – it has beaten me. There, I’ve admitted it. It hasn’t been impossible, but it has been incredibly tedious, and I thought, back in November, Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? For what purpose? Do I want people at my funeral to say, “Well, his life was a mess, but, boy, he could format a Kindle book with his eyes closed!”

No, that is not what I want to be remembered for, supposing that I am remembered at all.

So I built a model railway instead! Don’t ask me why.

But the railway has been built, and adventure calls again . . . Once more I must “take up arms against a sea of troubles”.

And, lo! There is that very sea, lapping around my feet, as I sit here typing this. The house needs re-decorating and the furniture and rooms need moving around. Trips to shops need to be done. The maze of Ikea, from which few emerge with their wits intact, has to be mapped and defeated, the flat-pack at its centre slain.

We shall buy things. We will assemble things. We will look at our house with fresh eyes. (We shall use ‘will’ and ‘shall’ with reckless abandon.) We shall be happy. For that is how the world works.

Temporarily, I hope, I shall abandon wisdom for the distractions of shopping. I will keep you informed if anything important or unusual happens. This will be a novel way of living on the edge of the soup plate.

Keep reading . . .



About stevehobsonauthor

I am blind, and I hate it. It stinks. But life is still sweet. I have multiple sclerosis, and that stinks too, but life is still sweet. These are my musings.
This entry was posted in Decorating, Lifestyle, Shopping and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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