M S Advice #6

 Keep your friends, and by friends I am including family and anyone who sticks with you and helps to support you.

 When you are first diagnosed, you find out who your real friends are. Some of your friends will disappear like snow in summer. Let them go. They were never your real friends.

 Of course, it is very sad for them if they can’t handle your illness, or if they’re just too busy with their children and their jobs and their houses to see past the disability to the person, who has not changed from the friend they knew last week.

 But you won’t have the energy to deal with their issues as well as your own, so make a decision to only spend time and trouble with people you want to spend time with and who want to be with you.

 The others are lost to you. Accept it. It’s not your problem.

 The friends and family who stay in touch, who phone you up to go for a drink or just for a chat, are your most important resource, because they remind you that you are still you and have not sprouted another head.

 They might do your shopping if you’re ill, but that is not the point – you can pay a stranger to do that! They are your pleasure and your belongingness. Treasure them.



About stevehobsonauthor

I am blind, and I hate it. It stinks. But life is still sweet. I have multiple sclerosis, and that stinks too, but life is still sweet. These are my musings.
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One Response to M S Advice #6

  1. Brian Toberman says:

    Hi Steve, As always, sound advice for all of us. It’s similar to moving to a new area or hitting a bad patch. You do seem to shed lots of friends but the real ones stay in your life and are truly your greatest resource. Sorry I didn’t get to see you last week. Wanted to clear the decks before heading off to Spain and it turned out to be a cruise liner with at least fifty decks! One of which was joining the 21st century and getting a smart phone. Quite proud of that, can actually work the thing with minimum fuss. Hate to admit this but call centres have actually improved to have become useful and modern technology does work! Also had my first day with the local Alzheimer’s group with Bella. It was wonderful, loads of new friends, including an 86 year old ex French teacher who was arrested at Greenham in 81. She is just stunning, loads of brilliant and valuable memories, just has trouble remembering if she got herself dressed today! Bella was a complete star, cup cakes everywhere and not a single transgression! She now has a whole new adoring fan club. She really is a perpetual bright spot in my life. Back early October. The first tinge of red is in the beech wood, and my log pile is comfortingly substantial, so should just be home in time for what I think is my favourite time of the year. Be good to get you over here. Louise would to see you again soon. Love to Elizabeth. Take care Brian xx Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 13:17:27 +0000 To: briantoberman@hotmail.com


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